Teacher! Teacher! Teacher! I've been a dirty whore I want your nails on my back Like nails on a chalk board

Well It's been an interesting couple of days. My stress level since we got back from Utah went from 0 to 50 in .10 seconds :\     I miss being in Utah. Me and Kris are applying to LDSBC and UVU and BYU. It's going to be a long process. I can't wait to move to Utah.

Okay so the picture at the top is of me and Cody[:   We went on a double date while I was in Utah.  It was amazing I miss that man :\   But It was an amazing week there. Greta sticking out of his pocket ahahah


Animal Abuse is a horrible thing. You should never harm an animal just because you are an angry person. Talk to someone and work things out. Humans need to get over their issues and stop harming poor helpless animals. They can't even defend themselves. It's pathetic that people abuse these animals. I don't know why anyone would ever do that. There is no need to. Punch a frickin pillow. Not an animal. Don't skin them alive or anything else that is disgustingly horrid.

Well I can't think of anything else. But Love you all.

Night Night Loves[;

When the world's crashing down When I fall and hit the ground I will turn myself around Don't you try to stop me

Well I spent the last week at the Ashcraft's home! I loved it. I met a lot of new people, had many great experiences, and went on an amazing date[:   I can't wait to move down to Utah!! It's so exciting finally being able to do things that I want to do without really having to ask for permission.

Jacob's farewell was the reason we went there. It was sad but amazing at the same time. I had so many great experiences down there. I miss it there. And everyone I met..[:  haha Anywhoo I love how you can feel the love in their house. When I was growing up, I never could feel anything like that.  It's an amazing experience visiting them.

Show everyone around you some love. They deserve it. You deserve it. Don't bully or push someone around just because they are different. Accept and Acknowledge that they are talented and beautiful creatures.  We all are.

Love you all,

Night Night loves

Remember as you learn to try to be the one you love.

Wow. Been a while. So alot has happened. I broke my foot on my sister's birthday. Or at least that is what the doctor said. But when I went in for my check up there was a different doctor helping me. He said, "You are a freak." Just like that. Opening sentence. I have an extra bone in my foot which caused the first doctor to believe I had broken my foot. When in fact, I had an extra bone and all I did was sprain my ankle worse than I normally do. So yeah, fun couple of weeks. I also decided that I am going to go to school, starting in the Fall, instead of Spring. 

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!  Yes, that is the first time I have said that today. So costumes?  Yes indeed I do still dress up for Halloween.  Yes, I usually go trick or treating.  Am I going this year? No. Am I dressing up? YES! I am going to be a Fairy. [: Not very original I know. But if I take my wings off, I could be a hooker :] 

So Halloween is my favorite holiday. Why? Because it's the only time we can dress up and act like ourselves and not be embarrassed about it. I am like that a lot but still there is a lot of people who are scared to be themselves in front of others. Why is this? I have noticed that it is mainly females that do this. Is it so we look more attractive? Or is it about competing with other females? I mean really people. GET OVER IT! We are all beautiful creatures. There shouldn't be a pressure to be better than everyone else. Just be confident in yourself, and that is all you need. 

Wellll I believe that is enough for one day. [;

Bye Bye Loves

The Fog Is Like A Cage Without A Key.

Been working a lot lately. It's been fun. I enjoy working there. I like working with the guys. They make it very entertaining. 

I have become more confident lately. I doubt it shows. But I am. I know that everyone is beautiful in their own way and no one should be told otherwise. 

I remember health class from 8th grade, we had a challenge. Wake up every morning, look in the mirror, and say "I love you!"  This is a simple psychological thing. We hear something positive and it makes our day better. Such a great idea too. I never actually tried it though. Psych class in High School also brought this idea up. I guess you could try it haha. Hope it works.

Well I am officially going to be attending college starting in January. [:  I am super excited but kinda nervous. I didn't really want to start college this soon but all well. I am going to be a Psych Major  :D  hahah So watch out because I might want someone to experiment on:}   Anyways I can't wait. 

Severe despondency and dejection, accompanied by feelings of hopelessness and inadequacy. Also known as Depression. Many people suffer from it. I have severe depression. My whole family has depression. It's just biological in my case. But there are others that get it from being in bad family situations, bad school situations, and just bad situations in general. 

Most people are just rude and ignore someone who has depression, mainly because they are scared to really talk to someone and find out what is going on with them, maybe because of their own insecurities.  

We are all more alike then we think. No one realizes that. We may all be unique, but in being unique we are all alike. We all have first loves, loses, insecurities, flaws, things we are good at or bad at. So why point out someone elses flaws? Sometimes you can't fix them. Most of the time, we don't even notice our flaws.

Anyways, be proud of who you are. Whether you be a minority, majority, or oddball.  

You will always be perfect in my eyes. After all, Imperfections are what makes part of the beauty.

Well Night Loves. <3

My Middle Finger Gets A Boner When I Think Of You[:

I bought a car[: '94 Pontiac Grand Am. It's a good car. Needs brakes but other than that it's good. Excited about that. 

My sister's boyfriends cousin is doing her farewell for her mission today. I don't really understand why people do that but all well. I hate when people try shoving their religion on me. Which they tend to do a lot. 

Babysitting seriously sucks. Soo tired of babysitting. I babysit almost every  single day. I never have time to do stuff for myself. I was lucky I had time to go get a car. 

Every time I do something, I get yelled at for it. Because apparently I am incapable of doing anything correctly. Well, correctly as in the way they do every thing. It gets rather annoying. I don't know what to do anymore. I have been thinking about something a lot lately even though I know I can't do it because it would "hurt others."  Anyways, People tell me not to do something, but then they go and do the same thing they just told me not to do. For example, I took my 3 year old cousin's crayon away when she drew on the walls. Then her mother yells at me for taking it away. Then earlier today, the mother takes her daughters crayons away because they were drawing on the walls. I mean seriously how much more hypocritical can you get?? 

Anyways, I have been very much frustrated lately, so I haven't really been getting on the computer. And I have been babysitting too much to even get time to get on the computer. 

Can't wait until they move out. 

Bye-Bye Loves

Dobby didn’t mean to kill anyone. Only to maim or seriously injure.

Last night was AMAZING!! I went to the Harry Potter Premiere with my sister and my friend Chad[: It was so much fun. While waiting in line we played Bullshit, talked, and had lots of fun. We saw a lot of people we know from here. By the time we got into the movie, I was sooo tired, I was almost laying on Chad's shoulder the whole time. But the movie in and of itself was SPECTACULAR! It was a great combination of sadness, excitement, and laughter. 

I was so shocked when Molly Weasley yelled out, "Not my daughter you bitch!" Then she fought/killed Bellatrix Lestrange. It was Fantastic!

I almost cried when I saw Hagrid at the end though. That just killed me. 

GO NEVILLE! Very brave young man!! <3

Fantastic movie though. 

I hate when the power goes out! Because then you have to reset all of the clocks and I, for one, can not see in the dark. I always trip over things, well more than I normally would. The garage door opener's won't work. I found that out last night. haha. So with knowing the power was out, I then went to my computer and turned it on. Wanting to go on the internet I then found that it was not working, whereas we lost power and the internet is hooked to it. haha I am an idiot. But all well. My computer was fully charged[: 

Well Bye-Bye Loves

People Cry, Not Because They Are Weak, But Because They Have Been Strong Too Long

Fourth of July was fun. Went up to my dad's so we could watch the firework show from the yard. Other than that.. pretty uneventful life. Depression kicked in. Don't give a shit. Mad at family. It had been almost two years since I thought about it.. Then some stuff happened and I wanted to try again. I am mad about that. People here piss me off. Always wanting to change things but never realizing I am the one that will have to do all the work for it to happen. But they don't care. As long as it is not them, that has to do all the damn work.

Blah so Happiness. What is it? A state of well-being and contentment. At least that's what a dictionary would tell you. To me, it is something that happens rarely but when it does happen it makes a memory that you cherish forever. Although sometimes we might not be able to remember happy things.. Like if you had a friendship that ends badly, all you can remember is the fights and everything that happened after that. Maybe a few good memories but not many. Happiness should be treasured and not taken for granted. So many people never realize how they take happiness for granted. But when your like me, you don't get many happy moments. That's why I know to treasure those moments. Never let them go. When you are sad, just remember how happy you can be. Know that you are capable of being happy.

bye bye loves

Such a sight to see and its all for me.

New favorite song: Peacock by Katy Perry!! [: Hahaha good song. Very dirty. I like it!! [: haha Very hyper today. Are you brave enough to let me see your peacock? hahah My room is super clean[: can't wait to light fireworks  :D Going to be a stressful day on Monday haha Alot of people coming over for bbq and games. Gonna go swimming tomorrow[;  

Dirty songs: Peacock haha Porn Star Dancing hahahah You know what I mean. Those songs that are talking about inappropriate stuff. Yet they are usually the best songs to listen to[: Blasting music down the main street getting all the funny looks from people. I love when older people look over like are you crazy? what kind of crap is that? hahaha Funny looks haha Probably the best part of my night was blasting Peacock on 17th hahaha 

Your probably listening to my playlist now haha seeing as its on the bottom of this page[:

Shake that ass girl go go go go hahaha I have a very bad playlist>_< hehe all well. now you know what I listen to hahahah  nitey nite[:

When you are curious, you find lots of things to do

Finally set up the swimming pool!! [:   Now we just have to wait for it to fill with water and so on. Well I live with my grandparents. I have since I was 3.  My sister too. Except she was 4. My mom lives in MO. And my dad lives in I.F. So he is rather close but my mom is not. We see our dad a lot more lately, getting to know him and our sister Desi, and brother Deni. Deni will be moving to Utah this weekend though so we won't get to see him much  :[   Get to see everyone this afternoon though[: Can't wait. Last time we looked at photographs of us from when we were little haha. That was interesting. When I was like 7ish we went trucking with my dad. Our step-mother was with us. My sister and I didn't really like her. But we had the top bunk while dad and Step-mom had the bottom.  One morning, I slept in and Dad had already started driving. Genevin? I don't know how to spell it.. but the step-mom.  She was standing right by the beds, I had just woken up and was getting down from the top bunk, when I fell on her.  I still remember it being rather funny[: 

Anywaysss Crushes.  You know what I mean. You see that one person and you get all happy inside[:  I rarely have a crush on someone. But lately it has been nice having a crush. Even if they don't know I like them. But crushes can be depressing or exciting. You can be excited that there he/she is! Or oh my he/she will never know I exist. Yeah I know how that goes, but lets face it. Who doesn't know how that goes? Maybe we should just tell someone when we like them and not care if they don't like us back. Not that big of a deal right? All well.

Imperfection is What I Do Best

Welllll I am super duper tired >_<  I mowed the lawn, swept and mopped, cleaned and vacuumed, and did laundry today. Besides babysitting haha. Didn't get the pool set up. Not enough time. Emotion today: Sad.  Why? I have no idea. But all well. Probably go to sleep soon. My cat is chasing a buggy.

Topic of the Night?... Dancing[:

I have danced for 15 years. I love it! I remember the first time I did a grande jette leap perfectly. I felt like I was hanging in the air[: So awesome!! It's a great way to exercise. It also helps increase your flexibility and mobility. Just how it makes you feel should be a great motivation for you to dance[:

Short post I know but I am going to sleep. nitey nite all[:

My Decisions

So I don't really talk much but I have decided to do this blog as often as I can. Probably at night when all is peaceful in the house. I have also decided to talk about at least one thing per night besides me and myself haha random yet interesting. 

      WE GIVE A DAMN CAMPAIGN[: This is a fantastic organization for anyone who cares about lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender equality. It's a place where people can learn and get involved in lgbt equality. I know there are many people out there who do not like the thought of two guys kissing or anything like that, but it is something that we should be happy about. Happy couples of all different kinds are joyous things in our lives. There is so much going on with the lgbt community and this campaign is really helping many people. All the things you can learn by just following this link http://www.wegiveadamn.org/  Please just read and try to be open minded.

Okay so yeah I am a supporter of lgbt equality[: but that doesn't mean you should leave rude comments>_<    

Well today has been a long day. I must say though that I LOVE SUN! I am finally getting a tan[: Okay so we have six cats. Two are mine but I only claim one[: Because she is freaking ADORABLE!!![: And the rest are rather obnoxious.

                                                                   Baby Girl<3
 
But my cat, "Baby Girl", is a chunky kitty[: Soooo cute:D  I am way excited to set up our pool tomorrow:]

Did I mention that I am terrified of clowns? They freak me out. I mean seriously who dresses up in a rainbow wig and a huge red nose, and thinks they can make kids laugh? Its hideous and scary.

Oh and Spiders. They just plain creep me out. Lame I know but at least I will kill a lot of them still.

Well I am done rambling so goodnight everyone[:

Getting to Know Some Things About Me

Well I come from a tiny town. I love being outside and barefoot[:  I love dancing in the rain!!!<3 Thunderstorms are awesome!  I am a very easy-going person, but making me mad is a bad idea.  I have danced for 15 years or so.  I love my friends and I don't really trust easy. I am super random[: and I love this smiley face[:  I don't live with my parents but I am getting to know my dad who I had not seen in almost 10 yearsish. Wellll yeah thats about it. I'm lame[: Oh and I have 2 sisters and 1 brother[: Nitey Nite